Differences list sent to us by old retired sound guy

What's the difference between an intelligent country lad and that same boy after a big bowl of beans?
One is a smart feller...

What's the difference between a Triscuit and a lesbian?
One is a snack cracker...

What's the difference between a nun at prayer and a nun in a bubble bath?
One has hope in her soul...

What's the difference between mono and herpes?
You get mono from snatching a kiss...

What's the difference between a cross-eyed hunter and a constipated owl?
One shoots and can't hit...

What's the difference between a baby and the conductor of a women's choir?
One sucks his fingers...

What's the difference between a telephone prank and a hesitating woman?
One is a calling stunt...

What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a prostitute with diarrhoea?
One you shuck between fits...

What's the difference between a midget magician and a female jogger?
One is a cunning runt...

What's the difference between the host of 'Candid Camera' telephoning and a tripped woman?
One is a calling Funt...

What's the difference between Dr Scholl's footpads and a symphony conductor?
One bucks up the feet...

What's the difference between a seamstress and a violist?
One tucks up the frills...

 
 

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